Shout This Liturgy // Seated With You


I bleed my heart out

to the Highest of Heavens-

I shout this liturgy

from the depths of


This sacred Reunion-

a crucifixion

of ecstatic union

as i cling to these wooden beams

for sanity.

Sin’s gravity

no longer restraining,

Wings of Self-Sacrifice

pursuing and lifting-

up from the deepest of graves


to the promise of Paradise-

Christ within groaning

rupturing this tension of ego

and illusion

effortlessly breathing

as i drink deep of your suffering

finally putting to rest,

buried beneath


the most unjust exchange

and glorious of infusions!

My Life

for Yours,

Hope of Glory.



let me be


fully engaged

with the nearness of

your presence.

Living for this one


to hear you whisper

in the stillness


slow down-

this evanescent



is much too valuable

to be distracted

by lofty ideals

and thoughts


Take up residence

and be my


never again subject

to the pain of


[i am seated with you. ]


Me For You //


Probably like so many artists out there… I have tons of unread/unpublished/forgotten writing and art work strewn about the internet and my very full closets at home. So.. I decided to delve back into some favorites for inspiration and thought I’d share. I will be posting some of my work over the next few weeks or so and would love for others to be inspired!

Here is one written in 2010. What was life like before babies?? Marriage? Ah it was full of free time to think and write all day. Ha! Those days will come again but these days  So full of life (and nap refusing babies) will be over before I know it. I am enjoying them dearly.

This one is called, “Me For You”

i give

so that i may receive.

i empty myself



so that you might


I lay down

only to


in your resurrection-

All of me;

Me for You.


Super simple. and yet so profound if we truly understand the gospel. The more I know, the less I am convinced I understand. Remaining child-like and teachable is so important to receiving more from God. If we think we know everything, how can we humble ourselves to learn? If we are full of our own opinions and our own efforts how can we hear what he has to say to us; receive his power and strength?

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children,
you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18:3

“I can do all things through Christ who keeps on putting his power in me.”
Philippians 4:13

Paul says in 2 Corinthians that he boasts or “makes much of” his weakness. Why? Because it is in our “weakness” that God’s power is “made perfect.” We cannot do a thing. Lets just get that one thing straight. If you still think that living the christian life is about trying harder, you may want to hear this, Because you’re probably really tired. The gospel has NOTHING to do with our own efforts or our own spirituality. It has NOTHING to do with our past or our mistakes or inadequacies. It is all about you giving yourself to Him – The Holy Spirit living his life inside of you and coming into that understanding by faith. Jesus came so that we could be “born again” – so that we could reckon our selves dead (our false identities and fallen nature) and LIVE in Him! IN Him. He is our new identity. I know that is a lot but, the point is— we have hope. US. weak, little old me’s. Full of mistakes and weakness. If we can get understanding, we can find hope. Because it’s not about us. Its about Him in us. Oh just saying that i can breathe a little deeper and rest. All performance dies. All insecurity dies. All self-judgement dies. In this place of understanding, we can truly enter into his rest.

Our inability + understanding is our escort into divine power.

The word power used in 2 Corinthians is translated into the greek, “dunamis” which is defined as:
strength, power, ability; inherent power, power residing in a thing by virtue of its nature; power for performing miracles; moral power and excellence of soul; power consisting in or resting upon armies, forces, hosts.

When we think we can’t do it, we’re still making it about us. But Love has already come before us and taken the burden, and he has empowered us to do all that we are called to, be all that we were created to be, live abundantly in his promises.

To the proud and lofty, to those full of their own strength, He seems hard.
He seems so distant. So uncaring. But truly he is none of those things.
To the childlike and humble, He is so wonderful.
His yoke is so easy and his burden is light.

Today I laugh while I am writing this because I haven’t eaten solid food for three days due to stomach virus. I am tired. Grace is napping and the Lord said, “I want you to write.” I protested that I needed to sleep too. And he said… “remember what you’re writing about??? … ” Yeah. Your strength in my weakness. HA. So I got up and wrote this. I’ll end by sharing what the Lord said to me this past sunday when I walked into my church worship meeting.
With a little humor in his voice but a very sincere invitation He said,
“You’re full of yourself, but you can be full of me if you want.”

I laughed. See that may sound harsh. But it truly wasn’t. To me, it was like music to my ears. It was sweet relief to my over-working, proud, self-sufficient, fearful-of-dependence, trust-wary heart that has believed so many lies in the past about who He is and who I am. It’s all from a lack of understanding. I laughed! I said, “OKAY! I choose you, then.” And immediately I felt his presence in a way that I hadn’t for a good while. I felt so free.

Thats where I want to live, friends.
In awareness of my constant need for Him.
No room for pride or independence.


Celebrating Summer


Our time in Helena so far has been undoubtedly eventful to say the least! James has graduated, Grace learned to walk, and my baby girl just turned one!! We will always look back on this season and be grateful for the experiences we have had here. I thought i would share some pictures of our summer fun as it comes to a close and we bring in the fall. (you know what that means, right? pumpkin pie of course!)

mimi and grace

we had a wonderful weekend celebrating with friends and family. Now i think will take a 2 day nap, please..






Da princess and her cake. She was quite a dainty cake eater… not much mess going on!

generations ❤



okay i have to warn you or it just wouldnt be fair. you cant even handle the pictures you’re about to see. theyre TOO adorable. disclaimer. you may die.


One Year Pictures!


She’s too perfect!!!! Im not even biased. Just wait, they get better.


just waving my flag.


That grin..

Sweet bear hugs xo



Don’t worry I’m already planning on getting a humongous print of this and putting it on my wall asap.




okay if you survived that cuteness…..

Here are some pictures of graduation! 🙂





photo (41)






Sweet potato spice cake!

Here is the recipe!

1 cup of coconut oil

1 + 1/3 cup of cooked and cooled Sweet Potato

10 soft Medjool Dates

1/4 cup Honey

4 teaspoons of Vanilla Extract

1 cup of Coconut Flour

1 cup of Tapioca Flour

4 teaspoons of Cinnamon

1 teaspoon of Nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon of Powdered Cloves

1/2 teaspoon of Ginger

1/2 teaspoon of Salt

1 teaspoon of Baking Soda

1 teaspoon of baking powder

6 Eggs

This recipe makes two 9″ pans for a layer cake.

//For the frosting//:

1 can coconut milk (the cream)

8oz of coconut butter (shredded coconut blended)

About 1/3 cup coconut oil (add more if needed.)

1/4 cup honey to taste

4 medjool dates (blended into mixture until smooth)

1/2 tbsp cinnamon Topped with pecan crumbles

Directions: // First I heated in a sauce pan on medium heat the coconut milk cream (also about half of the coconut water from the can), coconut oil, and coconut butter. Once melted and mixed well, add honey and cinnamon. Next pour into food processor or blender and add dates.

This will darken the frosting slightly so if you prefer more of a white frosting, leave this step out. Then pour into icing bag/plastic bag and refrigerate until thick. (About 30 minutes) if left in too long, it will fully harden because of the butter and oil (Which is a good thing once it’s ON the cake!)

This frosting held up beautifully for our party which lasted several hours– No melting whatsoever!
I hope you enjoy it as much as we did! Happy baking!

**This is an amazingly tasty recipe from the ! I altered the original recipe and used only dates and honey to sweeten. I also created the vanilla coconut frosting.

I will definitely be making this again.. like i said.. Fall is coming! 🙂

The Charismatic Language Barrier

One thing that I have seen consistently over the past decade in Christian organizations is…. a language problem. A language “barrier” you could even call it. Let me preface this by saying I am not being critical by any means- I am not bringing negative attention to anyone or any ministry. See, I just have this inescapable calling on my life…it’s a call to bring clarity to the message of the gospel. Simplicity. Child-like faith for a kingdom that is tangible for the simple minded and pure in heart.

In the past year or so I have been undergoing a serious “detox” with the Lord from church and from all things organized and structured. It has been an interesting, hard, sometimes self-imposed but sometimes spirit-led amazing journey to re-discovering the ability to think for myself, and think with the Holy Spirit.

Paul said something pretty darn amazing in the bible. Yeah, it’s in there. And The Message Bible says it best:

I’ve written to warn you about those who are trying to deceive you. But they’re no match for what is embedded deeply within you—Christ’s anointing, no less! You don’t need any of their so-called teaching. Christ’s anointing teaches you the truth on everything you need to know about yourself and him, uncontaminated by a single lie. Live deeply in what you were taught.” 1 John2:27

If I were sitting with you at your computer right now, I would have you read that out loud to yourself and really hear it. “Christ’s anointing teaches you…everything you need to know about yourself and him, uncontaminated by a single lie.” The Holy Spirit himself is our teacher. You have no need that any man should teach you anymore. Yep! Paul said that. (That means church is about community and fellowship,  but that’s a different subject for a later day. ;))

In the Old Testament, Moses and the prophets acted as a mediator between the people of Israel and God- speaking and relaying on their behalf. Now that Christ has come and that old covenant has been annulled, Christ is our mediation to God. We have no need to go through any man to talk with our Father now that we have been adopted. That’s pretty amazing! And most of the church has no idea of the real access we have to God. We are learning though! Through amazing men and women of God who have pioneered and seen moves of God through their simple relationship with the Holy Spirit.

But these same men and women can sometimes leave us with unclear perceptions of the gospel. I have NO doubt in my heart that these great fathers and teachers of our day have the reality of what they are teaching in their life, But I will say this loud and clear: spiritual reality is not passed on through just teaching. And when the language is unclear or undefined, it leaves many immature and illiterate believers with a false and deceptive understanding. Aka- Not the Gospel.

I will make it even more plain:

When you have the language without the revelation it is deception.

2 Corinthians 13:5 says, “Examine and test and evaluate your own selves to see whether you are holding to your faith and showing the proper fruits of it. Test and prove yourselves [not Christ.] Do you yourselves not know [thoroughly by an ever-increasing experience] that Jesus Christ is in you-?”

If we hear a message but have no spiritual reality of the words that we hear and well-meaningly repeat- we come into deception. We are in danger of saying the same words as the speaker or teacher or spiritual father, but having no true understanding and no fruit in our lives. We agree with the theology but have no manifest presence in our lives. I think the world calls that “hypocrisy” and they want nothing to do with it.  Is it because we have given the role of the Holy Spirit to a man behind the pulpit? I think so. Passionately so.

Let me show you something powerful from John 10. We all know the passage. Jesus is the Good Shepherd, and the devil comes to “Steal Kill and Destroy” – Right? Actually…. no. The devil was defeated when Jesus rose from the dead and the Father put all things under his feet. If you read these scriptures in context, Jesus was revealing to his disciples that he is in fact the Christ, and that all other false teachers who came before him were “thieves and robbers” leading the people into deception. When he says the Thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, he is saying what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 11:3-4:

“But [now] I am fearful, lest that even as the serpent beguiled Eve by his cunning, so your minds may be corrupted and seduced from wholehearted and sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For [you seem readily to endure it] if a man comes and preaches another Jesus than the One we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the [Spirit] you [once] received or a different gospel from the one you [then] received and welcomed; you tolerate [all that] well enough!”

He is saying in essense, don’t tolerate another Jesus. Dont tolerate another gospel. Follow Me.

He said, “My sheep know my voice”– So we ought to be hearing it friends! What a precious promise; that we can know him!

I recently heard a very well known speaker talk about being blessed and praying for God’s blessing that we might display the kindness of God, the light of God, the reality of God to the unbelieving world. That they would in essence, “see the blessing on our lives and know that God is with us” and be drawn to him.

I 100% agree with that message with my whole heart.

But see, this is where that old charismatic language barrier comes into play.

I can bet a large majority that heard that same exact teaching heard, “money.” And they heard, “If I follow God, my life should be amazing. It should be full of comfort and physical security and luxury and monetary blessing. If I follow Jesus he will make my life better so others will follow him.”

Man I am burning about this. We cannot afford to have the gospel reduced to “If I follow Jesus my life will be better. I will be ‘blessed.'” Then what will we do when the hardships come? What will we do when the persecutions come? (And if we are truly living the gospel, it will) We will be offended with God and most of all, confused.

Let’s define blessing and then we will have a true gospel message.

Rather than saying the word “blessing”, we could rightly define blessing as, “spiritual stamina, the true riches of his presence, Christ manifesting his nature and power in us, the favor of God that comes through obedience, His tangible love that impacts others as we yield to Him with our whole hearts and lives, giving our all for his sake.”

Suddenly it’s a little clearer now. See, its not our life any longer. It is an exchange of life. No longer I, but Christ who lives in me. I yield, He comes. I give all, He pours out his presence into my life. I lay down my agendas, He comes with power and resources to meet every need. I take up my cross, He displays his resurrection power.

Paul (can you tell I like Paul?) said it again so perfectly in the book of Acts when the jailer cried out to him,

“What must I do to be saved?” Do you know what he said? This was Paul the apostle’s gospel tract message- Haha.

He said, “Give yourself up to Him. Take yourself out of your own keeping and put yourself into His keeping.” AMP Bible

Boom. He didn’t go into deep theology with this man, He didn’t say, “incorporate Jesus into your life.” He said “Give yourself up to Him.” That sounds awfully relational to me. It sounds so pure and so wonderful and so free and full of peace and rest. Why would we want to be our own when we could be His? Why would we want to spend our days worrying when we can lay down our lives and die, letting him live in us and produce the good fruit he promised? “For it is God who works in you both to will and to do [work] for his good pleasure.” Philippians 2:13

The gospel that Christ preached, the same gospel that he preached to me personally
that resonates inside of me when I hear it in the lives of sacrificial men and women is this:

My all for Him, that He may be known.

Self-denial is not a loss, but a means of gaining Him